Bachelorette Madness

Chinn's bachelorette party was actually a lot of fun. I was a little nervous about it, because it was on my first weekend back to work and I knew it was going to be a challenging weekend already for me, leaving Davis and all. I was actually lucky enough to get the day off even though I didn't have PTO to take it off. Kayli was nice enough to just let me take an unpaid day for it, because I was a bridesmaid for the wedding so I needed to be there.

It was an extremely hot day, and we started with a boat cruise on the St. Croix river in Stillwater. Thank goodness the ship had an air-conditioned area, because that is where we spent the majority of our time. It was crazy hot. We did go up on the top deck to get some pictures and hang out for awhile. All around it was a good time. 

In between the cruise ship and dinner I was able to run home, change clothes, pump, and give Davis a few kisses before I had to head back out to dinner in downtown Minneapolis! I met the girls at the hotel and we hung out/they got ready, for a bit before we went out for dinner. I don't remember where we went to dinner now, but I ended up getting sushi (the Vegas roll) which was super good, so I know I was one happy lady! 

After dinner we headed back to the hotel to have some drinks, and play some games before heading out. I kept trying to hint to Jenny that I wasn't going to be able to stay very long, because of the whole pumping thing/new mommy thing I guess, and she seemed pretty annoyed but eventually let it go. I felt really bad, but I wasn't staying at the hotel so I couldn't drink much because I had to drive home and had to work at seven in the morning so it just felt silly to put myself through the stress of going out when I knew that she was going to have a better time without me anyway.  

Laughing and Smiling machine!

   Today Davis and I went over to Aunt Kimmy's new house to hang out for a bit. I think I was busy doing something when I noticed that Kim was taking a selfie with Davis, and he was totally smiling for it. I hadn't noticed him smile too much before this, except for the occasional sleeping/involuntary smile, so I was so excited to see him so aware of his surroundings. I brought him into the bathroom to show him himself in the mirror and low and behold he started smiling and laughing like crazy. Kim video tapped it, which I was really thankful for, because I could watch the video over and over and never get tired of it. He was so in tune with everything going on, and the more I laughed and smiled the more he did as well. It was such a fun day.

Memorial Day Weekend

    Packing for a weekend at the cabin has never been easy, but now it is almost impossible! Even when I am just trying to get out of the house for the day it is a lot of work, but to add packing for myself and a little one now is exhausting! You have to try to get ready, get the baby ready, try to pack your own bag, try to pack the baby's bag, pack bottles, formula, toys, a stroller, and whatever else you think the baby might need while your gone. It's a serious task, and trying to do it all while watching the baby and making sure he is happy takes a lot of effort.
    This was our first weekend at the cabin so I was a little nervous about how it was going to go having a baby there. We started the weekend off at pizza pub, as always, and because it's where we all meet up everybody wanted to see the baby. The pizza was delicious as always, and the next stop was the cabin.
    When we got there the grass was so long it looked more like a field than a cabin. I think we all kind of wondered if the mower was even going to be able to cut the grass when it was that long, but it ended up being fine.
    The weekend went well, but at the time I was still pumping about every four hours which makes it hard to just relax with everybody. Also, Davis was averaging about two feedings in the middle of the night. He's used to his routine at home, so I knew this was going to be pretty challenging for both Bobby and I. We work pretty well as a team so while one of us runs downstairs to make a bottle, the other is upstairs doing what they can to keep the baby from screaming and waking the whole house up. Not a whole lot of sleep takes place, but you get the job done.
    All around the weekend was fun. It's so nice to have a cabin where we can all go, and spend time together. Hopefully we can keep it around for as long as possible.
    That Sunday when we got home Davis turned two months old. My baby is disappearing before my very eyes! It's such a weird feeling. As happy as I am to watch him grow, and be able to do more I'm also sad at the same time. Every outfit that he grows out of makes me realize how fast their little bodies grow, and how I should cherish each moment for what it is.
    Having a newborn is hard, but it's also super special. It's a time where you get to reflect on life, and realize why you have worked so hard for everything that you have. It's coming to the realization that life isn't about yourself anymore. All the petty drama just sort of disappears, and your left with one thing that matters. Nothing else matters, which is crazy because before he was here those things mattered. It's really just a crazy experience/feeling.

Brunch and Babies

    Jenna and I had been trying to get together for awhile, because we both had time off and we wanted to see eachother's babies. Jenna was the only person pregnant with me, and just for a little while. We got to be pregnant buddies at Kim's bachlorette party, but she was about four months ahead of me which made it pretty hard to compare feelings and such.
    She had first said that she would drive out to my house, but coming from Monticello that makes for a very long trip. I thought that we could meet some what in the middle at Kimmy's new house. This way she could kill two birds with one stone, and see Kim's house as well. It turned out that Kim's house was just not ready enough for company so we decided that we would just meet half way at a Perkins for brunch. It wasn't easy getting myself and Davis ready, but I needed to be getting out of the house more, and this was a perfect activity. When we got to perkins they put us in the corner which made it easy for us, especially Jenna because Leo is breastfeeding so this way she wasn't on display as much. It was super busy and our waitress was pretty pushy about getting us in and out. We both got breakfast and just chatted about baby stuff most of the time. It was a little hard to relax, because I was trying to keep Davis happy, and Jenna was trying to keep Leo happy. We ate pretty fast, and decided it would be best to go outside to get some pictures and talk a little more. It was mighty hot out so we didn't last long, but it was still fun to be able to see the two of them. I wish we lived closer since our boys are so close in age. Hopefully we can continue to try to see each other, and plan play dates for the boys.

Happy 31st Birthday to ME!

    Celebrating my birthday has become sort of a "chore" these days, more than a fun activity. It's easy to make time to see family, but for some reason to find a time to get together with friends is impossible. We tried to plan a friends dinner, but it ended up that Kim, Borgie, and myself were going to be the only ones in attendance which just seemed kind of stupid in all honesty. The three of us were going to be seeing eachother at Chinn's bridal shower soon anyway so we just cancelled it, and didn't try to reschedule. We have finally reached the age where everybody is so preoccupied with life, that making time to hang out with eachother is just not going to happen. So, this year I made it easy on myself. I LOVE my sushi, and told Bobby that I wanted to go to Osaka happy hour for my birthday. It would just be us, and I already had my mom on board to watch Davis. Well, of course I mentioned this to Kim and she asked if we cared if her and Joe came along, because she hadn't planned anything and it was her birthday as well, of course. I told her that I didn't mind, and then we wondered if Jennie and Tom wanted to join, because they are always down for Osaka and it isn't far from their house. They were down, and it ended up being a pretty good night. We told the waitress that it was our birthday so they brought out the creepy looking masks for us to wear, and we got some cute pictures in them. I ended up overeating, because I was so excited which made me pretty uncomfortable afterwards, but ended up okay. Still hard to believe I am 31! Where has the time gone?

Chinn's Bridal Shower

    Today is the day that we are celebrating Jenny's bridal shower. Kim, Sarah, Tiffany, and I had broken it up so that we all had our jobs for the day. I was in charge of bringing fruit, making a hashbrown dish, bringing flowers, and coming up with one of the games. As easy as that sounds it was slightly stressful on me, which I'm sure has something to do with being a new mom and all. Any small task at the moment feels like a big one! It was planned for the early afternoon so we turned it into a brunch with mimosas and breakfast food. Tiffany did an amazing job of decorating, and even rented a helium tank to blow up balloons. She went above and beyond for sure.
    It turned out to be a very nice shower, but our guests were pretty much nonexistant. It reminded me of my baby shower that my sisters through for me. Nobody RSVP'd and even people who said that they were coming didn't show up. Very rude in my opinion, but Jenny didn't seem to let it get her down. She was having a family shower as well, so I'm sure she didn't mind. I felt pretty bad, because as soon as the shower was over I stayed for a little while to go over the plans for the bachlorette party, but had to get going because I was "filling up" if you know what I mean. (Pumping problems) All around it was really nice to get out of the house, and see some friends without the little guy. As much as I love spending time with him, I need time for myself too.

My first Mother's Day

    Today was my very first Mother's Day. I woke up to make a bottle and on the table was a card and lots of candy from "Davis". It was really sweet of Bobby. It's hard to believe I'm a Mom, but at the same time...it's not. I have been ready to be a Mom for years now, working in a daycare, having nieces and nephews, and possibly my age, 30...have all prepared me pretty well. There is nothing about motherhood that I find super challenging. I think it comes pretty natural to me, and hopefully will continue to.
    The plan for the day is to go to Grandma's house, and not only celebrate Mother's Day, but also celebrate Kim and my birthday. When we got there I could see my Dad and Hailey jump up and run to the door. My Dad came rushing outside to grab the baby, because he knew with all the people inside he was going to have trouble getting time with him. It's been really fun watching how happy Davis makes my family. It's been awhile since we have had a baby in the house, so I think that has something to do with it as well, but everybody is just smitten over him.
    We planned the meal potluck style, as always, to help make it easy on Grandma. She offered to provide the pop since that is the easiest thing for her to do. She was sure to stock up on Diet Coke, because she knows how much our family drinks, even Hannah and Hailey, these days. Well, it wasn't long before the Diet Coke started to run out, and Bob was going to have to make a trip to the basement so he could restock the fridge. Well, now that Bob drinks Diet Coke, one a day at seven p.m., he was not too enthuased by how much people were drinking. He started throwing a fit about how it's not fair that we were all drinking their Diet Coke, and why do they always have to provide pop...blah, blah, blah. It was actually quite comical, but of course everybody tried to explain to him why it was important that he share, and that he never provides any food but yet eats enough for two. He didn't get it. From now on we all know what we are getting Bob for Christmas and his birthday. DIET COKE! :)
    The rest of the day was spent hanging out with family, and taking pictures like we always do. It was a good day.

Spiders, Bees, and Mice... OH MY!

     In the last few weeks that I have been on my maternity leave I have come across some pretty nasty roommates! The other day while I was in the laundry room I saw a spider that had to be the size of a quarter, at least, and I knew that I had to kill it! It was awful. In the past I may have just panicked, and let it get away, but not now! Now that I have Davis to protect I have to be brave when I find these intruders and let them know that they are not welcome! I found the sharpest item within range, and went crazy on that spider! I wish I could go into more detail, but I'm pretty sure I blacked out while it was happening. About three hours later I told Bobby to go check it out. (I knew the spider was injured, but wasn't positive it was dead.) He went to check it out, and sure enough it was injured... severely, but still moving slightly, so Bobby had to finish it off. He was not happy about this by the way. I thought he would be proud of me, but I guess next time I need to make sure it's dead and get rid of the carcass. 

No, this is not THE spider I killed, but I want to think it was similar to this size. 

     Now, in the past few weeks we have also come across three bees/wasps in our house as well. Every spring and fall we get bees in our house. It drives me crazy! I HATE bees more then anything so you can imagine how happy I am about this. I think we figured out where they are getting in so stay tuned on whether or not we get anymore.

     And lastly, we came across two baby mice the other day. Bobby walked into the room that Davis, and I were hanging out in, looks down, and says, "Oh, there's a baby mouse" very nonchalantly. I grabbed Davis, and we were out! Bobby went upstairs to get something to catch it in, and a few minutes later came out with it in a bag. It was still alive so I told him to let it go outside...FAR AWAY. (Which I guess is at the end of the driveway.) We finally go back in the room to get comfortable, with Bobby this time, and what do you know? Bobby spots another baby mouse. He ends up catching and releasing this one as well.The worst part about this is we know that there is never just one mouse...especially when we are finding babies! Ugh!

    I tell ya...I think I may as well set up a tent outside, because I'm living with the wilderness in my own home! Pray for me that we don't get a squirrel or baby raccoon next. :(

We LOVE visitors!

     For anybody who has ever been on a maternity leave, you know how exciting visitors are. Week days are hard for people to come visit, so I still look forward to the weekend, because I know that other people aren't working and we might get a visitor or two.
     This weekend was pretty great, because Jayme and Kim came over on Friday, and Lacey and Kim on Sunday. It was so nice to see some friends, and just relax and catch up. It's also really fun to show off Davis. I worked hard to get that little guy here. ;) (Bobby too...I guess)

     Kim also helped us put up curtains in Davis's room, which were long overdue. She used her sewing machine, because we weren't able to find curtains that were the right size so we had to cut them and sew them to get them the right length. (Well, she had to.) Thanks Kimmy!
 

I still need to iron them, but they turned out great.

    After Kim and Lacey left Bobby and I decided to take our first family walk. It felt so good to get some fresh air. May need to make this an every day thing! (If weather permits of course.)

Davis slept the whole time.

The hill by our house is a real dozy!

One month old already!

     Today Davis turned one month old. It's crazy to think that it's already been one month. It feels like I was pregnant yesterday. I can only imagine how fast time is going to fly now that I have a child. I thought time flew before. I'm now going to have a little man learning new things every day, reminding me that if I blink too long I might miss something. :(
     We took lots of pictures to see which one we would use to "announce" this milestone on Facebook, and this seemed to be the best one. 

The winner!

Cuddling up to rabbit.

Runner up!

Am I really starting a blog?

     I have never been good at writing. I always struggle with how to word things, and because of this I never thought that I would want to be a "blogger". However, lately I have been reading all of my sisters blogs, and love that through their blogs I am able to look back at certain events, and remember them in such detail. I decided that with a new little man in my life I am going to want to remember as much as possible, and I think this is going to be the best way to do it. So, here it goes... I'm not sure how well I am going to be able to keep up with it, but I will do my best.

     Today, was just another day on maternity leave. I spent the day laying around watching T.V., and making sure that Davis was happy. He is a month old tomorrow! Can't believe how fast the time is going. With life being pretty uneventful at the moment I will have to have my next couple blogs be about Davis's birth, and everything that followed. I still can't believe he's here sometimes. He really is a miracle, and Bobby and I are so happy he's ours! 

Is this labor?!?!

     It was a Tuesday morning, and I woke up at seven to get ready for my eight twenty midwife appointment. I went to the bathroom, and noticed right away that there was a strange feeling when I wiped. I happened to take a gander, and realized that my mucous plug had come out. We had learned about the mucous plug in my labor class, and for some reason I thought that it was similar to my water breaking, (which it's not) so I went to wake Bobby up right away. I told him what had happened, and he was convinced as well that this was the early stages of labor. We decided to pack a bag on our way to our appointment, just in case they admitted me. We were super excited and the whole way to the appointment we couldn't believe that our baby was really on his way. Could it be true? Well, I decided that I was going to look up the mucous plug on our way to the appointment just to double check that it really meant what we thought it meant, and to our disappointment it was not the early stages of labor. It simply means that your body is getting ready for labor, but there could still be days (even weeks) left in the pregnancy.
     When we got to our appointment we decided that we should still let my midwife know that my mucous plug had come out, and thought she might have a little more information for us about what this meant. She seemed very un-enthused, and sort of acted as if we were crazy to think this meant I was in "labor". She informed us of everything we had read online, and that labor could still be pretty far away. (I was only a little over 38 weeks at this point.) She asked me if I wanted to have my cervix checked. I had skipped it the week before, because it was super painful the first time she checked it, and I really didn't see the point in having it checked every week. I decided that I would check it this week, because of the whole mucous plug situation, just to see where I was at. She said that I was dilated about a centimeter and a half. My body was definitely getting ready for labor, which was good, but still had a ways to go. When I got off the exam table, and started to get dressed I noticed that there was a lot of discharge which I guess is super common after having your cervix checked so I just ignored it, and we were on our way.
     As we left I could sense a little disappointment from the both of us that this was not the day that we were going to meet our baby boy. On the way home we had to make a couple stops, and being nine months pregnant I decided to stay in the car while Bobby ran in to Target and Pets Mart. We were only a few miles from home when I felt this strange feeling... it felt similar to the feeling of having my cervix checked. I wasn't sure it meant anything, and again just thought it had something to do with the exam I had just had done.       When we got home I got out of the car, and instantly felt as if I had peed myself. As I waddled the rest of the way inside I knew deep down that this was more than just leakage from a cervical exam. This was my water breaking. I instantly got in the tub knowing that contractions were probably going to start any minute. We called the on-call midwife, and she was not convinced that I was in labor. She told me that I was probably in false labor from the exam earlier, and should not go to the hospital unless I start having contractions lasting as long as a minute, being five minutes apart.
     I was feeling a lot of things at this point. I was so confused. Am I supposed to know what a contraction feels like? Is this false labor? Why doesn't anybody want to believe that I could be having this baby today? All of these questions and more ran through my head as I sat in the tub nervous, scared, and excited about what was to come, and then it happened...I felt something, this had to be a contraction. It lasted about thirty seconds and was super uncomfortable, but tolerable non the less. I had a few more of these "tolerable" contractions, and I started feeling a little better knowing that this was actual labor, and not false labor like my midwife had thought. Bobby was running around the house trying to get things in order, and preparing for us to be gone for a couple days. I sat there in the tub and just waited. There it was again... another contraction. This one was very uncomfortable, and I remember yelling for Bobby because I really wanted him with me. We decided that I should probably get out of the tub and start getting ready in case we needed to head to the hospital. I sat down on the couch in the living room, and was hit by a horrible contraction lasting longer then a minute, making my eyes well up with tears. I told Bobby that I was not interested in home labor anymore, and that we needed to get to the hospital SOON!
     At this point it was a little after eleven. My water had broke around nine forty-five, and we were both thinking that we probably had a long road ahead of us. The drive was not fun at all...for either of us! Bobby was driving extremely fast, because I was in tears having contraction after contraction with not a whole lot of time in between. As we got closer to the hospital I told Bobby to go to the Emergency drop off area, because I needed to be seen ASAP.
     Once we pulled up Bobby ran in to grab a wheelchair, and help. The man that came out to help seemed like he thought I was "overreacting" which was pretty annoying. As he wheeled me up to the maternity ward I remember him telling me to just breathe, and all I wanted to do was hyperventilate. I was brought directly to this very small room where a nurse started wrapping this thing around my waist, which was super tight, and telling me to relax. Bobby had called the on-call midwife in the car so she was at the hospital at this point, and she came in the room very casually to check my cervix. She told me that I was dilated to about three centimeters, and could still have a long road ahead of me if I wanted to go back home, and do some more "home laboring". I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was literally having about a minute between my contractions at this point, and they seemed to last FOREVER. If she thinks I am getting back in my car to go home she has got to be out of her mind! I told her that I want to be admitted, and that I want pain relief! Please, give me an epidural, because this pain is getting to be too much!
     They wheeled me to a hospital room while I am screaming in pain with my eyes closed the whole way down the hall. (Pretty sure I was scaring people, but I didn't care AT ALL.) When we got to my room I just remember the nurse telling me she needs to get an IV in me so that they can get some liquids, a whole bag of liquids that is, in me before the epidural. I couldn't believe they were making me wait! How am I going to do this? I remember yelling OWww, OWwww, OWwww, over and over again while everybody around me tried to get me to relax and breathe. How could I relax? I had no relief from pain, and each contraction was getting worse and worse. I can only imagine what I looked like to Bobby. I'm sure he was scared, but he did an amazing job of just standing beside me, and holding my hand.
     After the IV bag was completely empty, which seemed like a life time later, a man came in to give me my epidural. I had no idea how they were going to do it... I mean at this point I couldn't breathe, couldn't cry, couldn't move for that matter, how were they going to do this? They asked me to turn on my side. I wanted that epidural so bad that it took everything I had to turn on my side, and at this point I was screaming, crying, and...yup, there it is...puking in my mouth. Ugh! He finally got the epidural in, and it happened. I started to feel relief. NOT complete relief, but relief. I still had a horrible amount of pressure in my vaginal region, and knew that this baby was making his debut soon! The midwife was finally able to check my cervix again, and said that I was eight centimeters, and was very close to pushing. She left the room at this point, and I remember Bobby and I talking to the nurse about random stuff. I felt SO much better, but again not good. I still had a ton of pressure downstairs, and couldn't stop shivering/shaking with adrenaline. I let it go as long as I could, and finally I told my nurse I needed to start pushing. She brought the midwife back in the room, and we started discussing different positions I could push in.
     We started with me pulling my self up with a blanket wrapped around a pole they had attached to the bed. I pushed for about a half hour in this position, every time I felt a contraction (which was much harder to detect at this point, thank god) and decided that I wasn't making much progress so we needed to try something else. The midwife suggested that I tilt a little bit on my side and just bear down pushing my chin to my chest every time I pushed. Well, this position seemed to be working much better and every time I pushed I could hear them telling me that they could see the head, and that I was making progress. (At some point I remember Bobby telling me that he could see the head, and that our little man had hair. I was happy to hear this, because I really thought he was going to come out completely bald.) As I pushed and pushed I started feeling relief with every one. I would push three times with every contraction as hard as I could. My midwife was very encouraging, and would tell me to keep pushing if I had it in me. Oh, it was in me alright. I wanted our little man out! I continued to push, and finally I felt it...complete relief! She grabbed his head, and made sure that he wasn't getting sucked back in this time. As soon as he was out they put him on my chest. I could hear Bobby crying, and as much as I wanted to cry I just remember feeling... good. I was shaking from all the adrenaline, and emotions weren't really hitting me like I thought they would. It took me a couple minutes before I could really take it all in. Davis was here, and he was okay. He was breathing, he was crying, and he was adorable. I just remember looking him up and down. Did he have five fingers on each hand? Did he have five toes? Was he a normal baby? I'm sure some people would take offense to this, but these are the thoughts that were running through my mind. When your pregnant all you can think about, and dream of is having a normal, healthy baby. It doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl, but just that it's healthy. Well, as I laid there with him on my chest I just remember feeling relieved. Relieved that it was over, and relieved that in every way that I could see I had a normal healthy baby. :)

      Davis Robert Gotch was born at 3:17 p.m. on March 29th, 2016. He weighed 8 lbs. and was 21 inches long. They let him lay on my chest for about an hour. He was covered in vernix, which is similar to a white lotion. As I held him the midwife started to push on my abdomen to get the placenta out. This was pretty uncomfortable, but compared to what I just went through a piece of cake. She finally told me to push one more time, and the placenta was out. I don't remember feeling a whole lot of relief when it came out like some people said I would, but just knowing everything was out felt amazing. It took her about a half hour to stitch me up, and I remember hoping that everything was alright. I would get a look at her face every once and awhile, and she seemed a little nervous about the amount of blood and where it was coming from. I tried not to think about it, which ended up being the right thing to do, because everything was fine. She told me I had a second degree tear down there so I needed to be extra careful cleaning the area.
     As I lay there with Davis, (and Bobby) I realize that Mom and Kim are in the waiting room. I want them to be able to come in, but the nurses wanted me to try nursing since I was interested in breast feeding so we got on that right away. It was hard to get too involved in feeding, because I knew that more family was on their way and I just wanted to show off my perfect angel. As soon as they were able Kim and my Mom came in the room. Very shortly after Bobby's Mom, Dad, and brother showed up. The rest of my family wasn't far behind, and everybody wanted a picture with Davis. Bobby and I included! Here is the very first picture of our new family. 

       Welcome to the world Davis! We couldn't be happier that you are here!

What a Month!

    This month will go down as one of the craziest/saddest/happiest months I have ever experienced(happy only because of Davis)! So much happened during this time of my life I have to write a blog about it so I don't forget. In the beginning of the month we celebrated Bobby's birthday at Dave and Busters. I have to say that I wasn't all that thrilled to be having a big celebration at the time, because I was eight months pregnant, tired, and could barely walk, but I was going to do it for Bobby.
    It was important for Bobby to celebrate, because he hadn't seen his friends in awhile and I'm sure he wanted one last Hoorah before the baby came. (Which is understandable, but at the same time where is the woman's last Hoorah?!) A lot of people came out, and we ended up buying a card that had a lot of credits on it so we were able to play games all night.
    After dinner and games people weren't all that interested in going home so we ended up meeting Jennie, Tom, Joe, and Pete at Grumpy's for a few drinks. I wasn't all that happy about this plan, because I was tired, my feet swollen, unable to drink, and moody, which is not a good combination, but didn't want to spoil the fun so I told myself that I would be okay and just had to get through it. The night ended up going until almost two in the morning. We were the last ones to leave the bar, and I was DEFINITELY ready to be going home. In the car I had the "drunks" all trying to tell me what to do and where to go, because everybody was hungry and wanted Perkins. It was not happening, but it seemed as though some of them were having a hard time understanding that. I was trying to figure out the best way to Jennie and Tom's house, and with all the chaos in the car I couldn't really get a straight answer. Jennie was telling me to go straight, and Bobby telling me to turn. I had a feeling Bobby was trying to lead me to an alternate destination, because he was really pushing the Perkins idea, so I decided to go the route that Jennie was telling me. Well, Bobby...in his drunken state...was not happy about this, and physically grabbed the wheel to try to make me turn. That was the last straw! I freaked out! I don't remember what I said, but it wasn't good. He had been drinking captain cokes all night, which is not what he typically drinks so I think he was way more drunk then usual, but still totally unlike him.
    The car got quiet, and everybody finally started to realize how serious I was. I was not going to perkins! I was not being their chofer! I was going home, and going to sleep! (I don't know what it is these days, but going out feels like a chore. I am so over it, especially when I'm not drinking.) Well, Bobby and I ended up sharing a few words with eachother on the way home which was unfortunate. We had a long drive ahead of us, and there was really no avoiding it. I didn't want to be dealing with this. I was supposed to be trying to destress and that was probably one of the most stressful nights of my life. When we got home Bobby was able to pass out, and I had to sit up and stew about everything that had just happened. By myself, in the basement, with a full term baby in my belly. I will never forget it, and hopefully we never experience another night like it again in our marriage. The rest of the month Bobby and I felt it best that he didn't drink. He needed to be able to bring me to the hospital when I went into labor, and for moral support as well.
    Shortly after this happened on March 12th, which was my second baby shower day, we found out that George Paitich had died. It was completely shocking. I hadn't seen George in awhile, but every time that I did run into him he seemed so excited to see me (or the MILLERS that is). I think this was just the type of person George was. He made everybody feel special. He was a really great guy, and he will definitely be missed by many.
    Shortly after George passing away I find out that my cousin Nick is starting hospice. I knew he wasn't doing well, but thought that he would get through it. When I found out he was going on hospice it was a realty check that he really wasn't doing well. I couldn't believe this was happening. First George... now Nick. Two young men who had so much life ahead of them, gone. His funeral was shortly after Davis was born so I wasn't able to go which sucked.
    During all of this our cat Jesse was starting to deteriorate. She was losing weight like crazy and was starting to get diarrhea all over the house, which was a nightmare to clean up and smelled awful! We took her to the vet, and found out she had hyperthyroidism. She needed medication or a procedure done. We decided to go the medication route which ended up not working, and shortly after Davis was born ended up having to bring her in to be put down. I wasn't strong enough to go in with Bobby to do it, which I felt horrible about, but with everything going on at the time I just couldn't do it.
    Oh, and did I forget to mention that earlier in the month I was let go from my job in Scandia. They told me that they didn't need me to come back after my maternity leave. At the time I was shocked, but as I reflect on it now I can't believe that I didn't see it coming. They were paying me a lot of money to do a pretty easy job, but still couldn't believe it was happening right before my maternity leave. Here I am supposed to be focusing on being a new mom, and now I am going to have to add the stress of looking for a new job?! It was crazy.
    While dealing with all the death surrouding me, and this black cloud hovering over me I was trying to prepare myself for labor. I have been scared to go through labor ever since I found out that women have babies! I knew I wanted to have kids, but the labor part of it has always terrified me. When is it going to happen? How long is it going to take? Is it really going to be as painful as people say? All these questions and more were going through my head the closer I got to my due date. Part of me wonders if everything that was happening this month was God's way of distracting me from thinking about labor? Not sure, but I still thought about it a lot, and was excited but also very nervous for the day to come.
    All and all...this was the most stressful month I have ever endured! Looking back at it now I'm still a little surprised I survived it. I cried almost every day. I mean really cried. I experienced so many emotions during this time. Could it have been God preparing me for parenthood? I don't know,  maybe he was trying to see if I was strong enough for it, which I must be because I survived...BARELY!