What a Month!

    This month will go down as one of the craziest/saddest/happiest months I have ever experienced(happy only because of Davis)! So much happened during this time of my life I have to write a blog about it so I don't forget. In the beginning of the month we celebrated Bobby's birthday at Dave and Busters. I have to say that I wasn't all that thrilled to be having a big celebration at the time, because I was eight months pregnant, tired, and could barely walk, but I was going to do it for Bobby.
    It was important for Bobby to celebrate, because he hadn't seen his friends in awhile and I'm sure he wanted one last Hoorah before the baby came. (Which is understandable, but at the same time where is the woman's last Hoorah?!) A lot of people came out, and we ended up buying a card that had a lot of credits on it so we were able to play games all night.
    After dinner and games people weren't all that interested in going home so we ended up meeting Jennie, Tom, Joe, and Pete at Grumpy's for a few drinks. I wasn't all that happy about this plan, because I was tired, my feet swollen, unable to drink, and moody, which is not a good combination, but didn't want to spoil the fun so I told myself that I would be okay and just had to get through it. The night ended up going until almost two in the morning. We were the last ones to leave the bar, and I was DEFINITELY ready to be going home. In the car I had the "drunks" all trying to tell me what to do and where to go, because everybody was hungry and wanted Perkins. It was not happening, but it seemed as though some of them were having a hard time understanding that. I was trying to figure out the best way to Jennie and Tom's house, and with all the chaos in the car I couldn't really get a straight answer. Jennie was telling me to go straight, and Bobby telling me to turn. I had a feeling Bobby was trying to lead me to an alternate destination, because he was really pushing the Perkins idea, so I decided to go the route that Jennie was telling me. Well, Bobby...in his drunken state...was not happy about this, and physically grabbed the wheel to try to make me turn. That was the last straw! I freaked out! I don't remember what I said, but it wasn't good. He had been drinking captain cokes all night, which is not what he typically drinks so I think he was way more drunk then usual, but still totally unlike him.
    The car got quiet, and everybody finally started to realize how serious I was. I was not going to perkins! I was not being their chofer! I was going home, and going to sleep! (I don't know what it is these days, but going out feels like a chore. I am so over it, especially when I'm not drinking.) Well, Bobby and I ended up sharing a few words with eachother on the way home which was unfortunate. We had a long drive ahead of us, and there was really no avoiding it. I didn't want to be dealing with this. I was supposed to be trying to destress and that was probably one of the most stressful nights of my life. When we got home Bobby was able to pass out, and I had to sit up and stew about everything that had just happened. By myself, in the basement, with a full term baby in my belly. I will never forget it, and hopefully we never experience another night like it again in our marriage. The rest of the month Bobby and I felt it best that he didn't drink. He needed to be able to bring me to the hospital when I went into labor, and for moral support as well.
    Shortly after this happened on March 12th, which was my second baby shower day, we found out that George Paitich had died. It was completely shocking. I hadn't seen George in awhile, but every time that I did run into him he seemed so excited to see me (or the MILLERS that is). I think this was just the type of person George was. He made everybody feel special. He was a really great guy, and he will definitely be missed by many.
    Shortly after George passing away I find out that my cousin Nick is starting hospice. I knew he wasn't doing well, but thought that he would get through it. When I found out he was going on hospice it was a realty check that he really wasn't doing well. I couldn't believe this was happening. First George... now Nick. Two young men who had so much life ahead of them, gone. His funeral was shortly after Davis was born so I wasn't able to go which sucked.
    During all of this our cat Jesse was starting to deteriorate. She was losing weight like crazy and was starting to get diarrhea all over the house, which was a nightmare to clean up and smelled awful! We took her to the vet, and found out she had hyperthyroidism. She needed medication or a procedure done. We decided to go the medication route which ended up not working, and shortly after Davis was born ended up having to bring her in to be put down. I wasn't strong enough to go in with Bobby to do it, which I felt horrible about, but with everything going on at the time I just couldn't do it.
    Oh, and did I forget to mention that earlier in the month I was let go from my job in Scandia. They told me that they didn't need me to come back after my maternity leave. At the time I was shocked, but as I reflect on it now I can't believe that I didn't see it coming. They were paying me a lot of money to do a pretty easy job, but still couldn't believe it was happening right before my maternity leave. Here I am supposed to be focusing on being a new mom, and now I am going to have to add the stress of looking for a new job?! It was crazy.
    While dealing with all the death surrouding me, and this black cloud hovering over me I was trying to prepare myself for labor. I have been scared to go through labor ever since I found out that women have babies! I knew I wanted to have kids, but the labor part of it has always terrified me. When is it going to happen? How long is it going to take? Is it really going to be as painful as people say? All these questions and more were going through my head the closer I got to my due date. Part of me wonders if everything that was happening this month was God's way of distracting me from thinking about labor? Not sure, but I still thought about it a lot, and was excited but also very nervous for the day to come.
    All and all...this was the most stressful month I have ever endured! Looking back at it now I'm still a little surprised I survived it. I cried almost every day. I mean really cried. I experienced so many emotions during this time. Could it have been God preparing me for parenthood? I don't know,  maybe he was trying to see if I was strong enough for it, which I must be because I survived...BARELY!